Von Tripp The Sublime (Part Two)

The highschool years ended for von Tripp on a mentally and socially disastrous note.

After her bout with the mumps, she was taken out of school and into the protective custody of home schooling. She was deemed too susceptible to disease and was considered a threat to the students.

She was taught the basics, repeating those many times to keep her busy.

After a year had passed, she was reintroduced into the general population by her parents as a bet, to see if she could be asked to the prom.

What does our esteemed reader think happened, hm? Did she manage it? Did the fates spin her some hope?

Haha, no! She’s an idiot.

Maybe it was because they got bored of it or that they had forgotten she was being home schooled, but her parents left her in school. The less time she was at home, the less she was their responsibility.

Pitiful, alone and uncared for, von Tripp made it out of school physically untouched but emotionally empty.

I would add that she was soon forgotten, but she had never made it into the vaults of memory to be able to leave a hole in it.

Now with her whole future in her hand, von Tripp decided to take charge of her life and applied to an online university. She was accepted as a knitting student.

What wonderful news! von Tripp’s head flooded with ideas of franchising factories around the world, finding cheap labor and creating jobs in impoverished areas. The world would never forget her name.

The world never forgot her name. The world never learned her name in order to forget it.

Von Tripp’s post-graduation plans were met with closed doors that people forgot to open and, once again, a hopeful person was given back to disappointment.

An interesting factoid I discovered was that never in her life had von Tripp thought of suicide. But after a little thought, I discovered that those who always fail were bound to fail at failing. Maybe suicide never entered her mind because of all the complications it presented. Von Tripp would never stand a chance.

Following her venture into academia and after battling a spell of psychosis which forced her parents to lock her in her room, it was decided that she would not be safe in any solitary endeavor – her life was not to be of her own choosing. She would be presented into the hands of a wealthy adventurer to act in the capacity of a housewife.

Enter Mr. von Tripp. (A drum roll is to be imagined before this statement is read.)

Mister von Tripp spent many months at a time invading the privacy of indigenous solitary species all around the world. Notorious for never being at home, a deal was struck in which Mrs. Von Tripp would act as a house manager in charge while Mr. von Tripp was away.

Two years after this deal was made, the von Tripps finally saw each other.

That was how the Mister remembers it anyhow.

Soon thereafter, word made it back from Africa that a tiger had escaped from a zoo, attacked some humans at the marketplace and bit a dog’s ear off before making his way into the thick tropical woods to be eventually eaten by lions.

It was Mr. von Tripp’s dog that had been bitten, and licking its master’s hand later that evening, it infected him with a germ that was to kill von Tripp in an internal explosion of worms. Mrs. Von Tripp was left behind with only a name and a fortune.

Desperate, woeful and disappointed, von Tripp decided to hire a simple writer to record the events of her life – most of which had been forgotten by the silent creeping of dementia – and then set off in search of the tiger that bit her husband’s dog’s ear off.

And there she remains, the perfect predator: unnoticed and unloved.

Want to know how it all started? Read Part One of von Tripp’s adventures here.

Von Tripp the Sublime

Poor Mrs. von Tripp. It seemed that the universe had conspired to make her life miserable. I speak in the past tense because Mrs. Von Tripp is no longer with us. But in her absence, I realized that her story is too ghastly to remain untold.

Like any person, she had been a little girl once. Everybody’s been a little girl once.

She had been loved; disappointingly so. That horrid experience of her early life left her with a scar that forever altered her perception of love.

She had been ordinary in school. So miserable was her life that she was forgotten on picture day and never made it into the school yearbook.


Seriously, like, every year.

No record – except her diploma with its bizarrely written letters – proves she had a formal education.

Not to belittle her, von Tripp was decent in school. She was a human, after all. She had the power to understand, and what a power it was. Legends are written about people who understand; but sadly this is not a legendary story but a sad one. Von Tripp never understood her power and never harnessed it. The saddest thing in the world is misunderstood power, unused power.

She’d been the proto-average student. She was quiet and, throughout the years, she mostly went unnoticed. High school is a nightmare for most children, but for von Tripp it was the most unrewarding experience one could ever have. She was a mere observer. Her observations drove her into a deep, heavy solitude; she would drag its weight across her life.

This, coincidentally, was the period where she experienced her first contact with love.

He was a handsome boy. Fair, with a subtle tan and a square jaw that would put a cube to shame. He was her dream. She’d dreamed – that sad little girl – of a life of joy and smiles, laughter and hand-holding where for once she could look at someone and call him her own. Someone who was a shoulder to her, someone to mature with, and someone to hold her down and do stuff to her.

Like shave her legs.

The boy with the subtle tan had other thoughts, though. Thoughts of how to keep that eternal tan and how to forever have teeth as white as snow. He knew of her existence only once and that was when he tripped over her in 9th grade. For that one instance in her life – for that brief nanosecond before the Tan held onto his friend’s shoulder – von Trapp existed. Someone had noticed her for a small portion of time.

The Tan had tripped over von Tripp.

That was her greatest adventure of that time, her eye of the storm. That year she was due for her first grown up May Day dance. Do I need to elaborate? Do I need to write about this horror? It’s like a bandage, the sooner you get rid of it, the better. The pain – although momentary – may be too much for my frail heart to bear. It is too sad. The word ‘unfortunate’ may be overused by now.

She got the Mumps two days before the dance. And so, von Tripp’s fate got tripped again. The dance was missed and von Tripp’s cheeks inflated to the size of a terrestrial satellite. They shone with the trickles of a million tears, shredding and tripping her heart.

She sunk deeper into the despair that was her life.